Waiting for the uncertain

I grew up like everybody else. Simple, nothing that special.
Everyday I wake up and get to kiss good morning
the people that took care of me even
before I knew how to spell my first name.
People who I believed to be my real parents.

They’re my grandparents. I called them Mom and Dad.
My real mom said she needed some time, maybe to find
her inner self, and with confidence, left me to stay with her parents.
I never complained about her decision because I know, I’m in good hands.
My uncle, who also lived with us, took the job of being my brother.
He also took part in shaping my personality as I grew older which I am proud of.
As a child, having an uncle for a brother was quite rewarding.
My life was complete.

Living in a family who earned the respect of many, forced me to be sociable
and gave me the chance to know a lot of different people
of different ages. Having introduced as their grandson,
made me feel a bit embarrassed.
Although I have a lot to be proud of, not having your real
parents beside you, made me feel envious of other kids.
Nonetheless, I’m very much happy and satisfied.

My mom came back. I’m glad she did. But now,
she has a new husband. It was rather awkward being
with someone new who is willing to accept me to be his own son.
By God’s grace, I learned to accept him as well.
He has three children with my mom, and I’m very happy to have siblings to love and lead.
Thanks to him, I now have a family. A complete one.

As time pass and my mind matures, questions about my biological father
was beginning to surface. I asked my mom and my grandparents
about the truth. Why did he leave? Will he come back?
They could not answer the latter. Instead, they convinced me
that I should just take advantage that I still have them and concentrate
on my studies and someday, be proud that I made
it through life without a father.
There were no space for arguments. It was suffer or move on.

I continued my life as I struggle to get out of high school.
Thinking that things will be much better as soon as I finish my studies.
I’ve set goals, doing each step necessary to accomplish my dreams.
Get a degree, move on to business and live the life I’ve always wanted.
Being wealthy was in fact, the center of my inspiration.
I’ve always known that being financially secured was a big source of happiness.
Until one day,
I received an instant message on my social network account
that made me think otherwise.

It was a man who carries the same name like I do.
He asked me about my parents, and ended his message with a hint,
“we could be close relatives”.
I was stunned. I couldn’t breathe.
I saw his picture, and I was dead certain that he is my father.
After twenty long years, this is the first time that I’m having a conversation with my real father.

Other than excitement, I also felt anger. I wanted to ask him tons of questions. Hard questions that only starts with “what” and “why”. It took me sometime to think things over. I pictured possible scenes that might happen depending on various decisions. But clearly, I did felt some sort of relief. Because right now, my biological father’s just an e-mail away.
Considering that, I hope things will be okay and it will only bring out something for me to be happy about.